Clued Up or Clueless?

Changing Behaviour 5 Responses »
Feb 282012

Are you on top of your personal admin and up to speed with your finances?

Do you know what your situation would be should you suddenly find yourself alone – either through death or divorce? Not nice to imagine but to have no clue should be even more unimaginable.

You might be thinking that this blog sounds more like an advert for life assurance or financial planning but I have been really surprised when talking to women recently how many haven’t got a clue as to what their situation would be should their husband/partner not be there anymore.


How come simple questions like these are not being asked – what sort of life assurance policies do we have? Will the mortgage be paid off? Is there hidden small print that says if we claim on one policy it cancels out another? What happens to the children should something happen to both of us?

Have you got wills in place and if not why not? Do you have a Living Will or will you be for evermore on life support? What investments do you have and when do they vest? How do you access them? Where are all the passwords? Who would you need to call and will your bank account be frozen? What will you live on when you are old?

Men and women are meant to be equal today so how come so many women still leave it up to their husbands/partners to deal with the finances and personal admin?

Death or divorce brings such grief and stress in its own right – to add financial uncertainty and surprise to the mix is just bad planning.

If as you read this you realise you don’t know what your situation is then make it a priority to find out. You will either be pleasantly surprised or downright shocked. Either way it will ensure you are in the driving seat when it comes to your personal admin and financial security going forward.

From April I will be running a light-hearted and enjoyable morning workshop giving women a simple step-by-step guide on what they need to do to get on top of their personal and financial admin. All you need to do is spend one morning with me and you will walk away feeling confident that you know exactly what you need to do to ensure you are going to be on top of things.

Posted by Hilbre at 11:50 am

Fragility of Life

To Make You Think 10 Responses »
Jan 202012

This blog isn’t your obvious championing of life, but rather about the raw fragility of it….

It is a tribute to a close friend of mine who has sadly lost his long and very brave fight against a vicious and ever so cruel cancer. Only those who have experienced cancer first hand can appreciate what it is like to watch someone literally disappear before your eyes. Where once a strong person stood, a mere, and hardly recognisable, shell remains on that final day.

Death of someone our own age leaves us confused as to what we should be doing with our lives, as it could have been any one of us. Why the good ones are taken is possibly explained by a belief system, but for most, it just isn’t fair. Why would God take a hard working, fun, loyal and loving husband and father of two young children? A five year old doesn’t even know what death is.

I experienced death first hand when I lost my mother to cancer. She was only 2 years older than I am now when she got cancer. When it was happening she seemed so much older. Now we are there we realise how very young being 40-something really is. I suspect it is the same in each decade.

None of us know how long our journey is meant to be or what is in store for us, but it is never to early to do your bucket list and make sure when the day comes you can say ‘I lived my life without regret‘.

Take a moment to look at your life and ask yourself if you are truly living life without regret, and if you are happy with where you are and what you have achieved. If not, then do something about it.

In memory of Craig Ross Junior who died 6 January 2012.

Posted by Hilbre at 9:31 am

2012

Changing Behaviour, Inspiration No Responses »
Dec 152011

Only a few weeks to go…

Time seems to be going faster with each passing year (it certainly never went this quickly when I was at school…)

What did you say you would achieve this year that you are now going to roll over into 2012?  While I love good intentions – sadly most people haven’t achieved in December what they set out to in January.

I learnt at a recent public speaking course that people are generally able to retain three key messages at any given time. Below are what I believe are the three key actions that will define whether your intention becomes a reality or remains for ever more on that ‘to do’ list.

Number 1: Make a maximum of 3 resolutions for 2012.

That way you have a much better chance at success and will feel like you are in the winning seat, rather than feeling like you are never achieving.  If you have less to achieve you can dedicate more time and energy to achieving it.

Number 2: Write it down.

Until you commit your resolution to paper it just remains a thought. Once you can see it then it starts to become real and you can begin taking action.

Number 3: Keep the resolution SMART.

(Specific, Measureable, Achievable, Realistic, Time based). The only way to really achieve something is to define it, be able to measure it; and create realistic goals and deadlines in order to make it happen.

Rather than making lots of resolutions – resolve to make 2012 a year of action with maximum impact.

Have a fantastic Festive Season and I will be in touch again next year…

Posted by Hilbre at 5:18 pm

Confidence is Queen

General 2 Responses »
Dec 052011

How Confident are you?

What is Confidence?

I have just got back from a brilliant two day Fear of Public Speaking retreat. The only thing standing in the way of success is lack of CONFIDENCE.

If we are confident (very different from arrogant), we can do anything as we hold the key ingredient of self-belief. What will it take for you to believe in yourself?

Life Coaching helps build self-confidence by challenging self-limiting beliefs and visualising what a confident self would look and feel like. The power of visualisation lies in the fact that you see yourself living as a confident person with all the benefits and rewards that being confident would bring.

Research in the field of Neuroscience has shown that the brain cannot tell the difference between a real and an imagined event. Sports stars have been using visualisation techniques for a number of years now by engaging all of their senses in their mental rehearsal  as part of their training and preparation for major tournaments and sporting events.

The power of visualisation lies in the fact that once you have a clear image of what you want to achieve and you create a strong sensory map of that image – you will be able to make it a reality through continued focused energy and the Law of Attraction.

You don’t have to stand back anymore and admire others for being so confident – start your visual map today and you will be surprised at how quickly you find yourself taking centre stage.

Posted by Hilbre at 8:13 pm

The Devil is in the Discipline

Changing Behaviour, To Make You Think 3 Responses »
Nov 202011

I have been thinking about the concept of discipline and I am coming to the conclusion that it is the key to success.

Think of a sports star – what makes them a star? While I agree they need to have a certain amount of natural talent, I believe it is their discipline to spend hours training that takes them to the top of their game.

Think of someone in great physical shape – they have the discipline to eat healthily and to exercise regularly. They aren’t always just lucky to have a fast metabolism as some might say.

Think of someone who gets good results in their exams – they have the discipline to study. They aren’t always just naturally bright.

Think of someone who is organized – they have the discipline to stay on top of personal admin.

Think of a Buddhist monk – they have the discipline to get up before dawn and meditate. I can go on but I am sure you can think of your own examples of people you consider to be successful – they didn’t just get that way through luck. While I don’t dispute that luck, natural talent or high IQ’s and EQ’s exist, without discipline they wouldn’t be there with the best of the best.

Now I know most of you are not necessarily wanting to go down the monk route or planning on playing in the next world cup, but if we could all be more disciplined in certain aspects of our lives, think how much more we could all achieve.

Some of you reading this might be saying that it isn’t always about improving ones’ ability, but being more disciplined can simply enable one to enjoy things more. I know if I was more disciplined to train regularly on my bike I would have a level of fitness that enabled me to enjoy every ride with my fellow club members – whether it be the regular 30miles or the occasional 100miles.

Think of areas in your life that if you practiced just a little bit more discipline how it might enhance your life.  Changing a small thing like opening your mail on a daily basis can allow you to be more in control of your personal admin and avoid any nasty surprises when you realise your tax return is late…

Posted by Hilbre at 6:18 pm

You Can Count on Me

To Make You Think 2 Responses »
Oct 302011

 

You can count on me like 123…

I love the song Count on Me by Bruno Mars. It makes me feel good and I think about my friends when I listen to it. I think about how they support me and I look at how I support them and what I can do to be a better friend. We are all so busy today (too busy in fact), but that just seems to be the speed the world is moving at right now. A close friend who is going through a really tragic time said to me that she doesn’t feel like anyone has really been there for her. A client said to me that her friend just doesn’t seem to have time for her anymore.

What is friendship?

What does ‘being there’ for a friend mean?

Who will you call when you need a friend?

Who do you think will call you – will you be there when they do call?

I am reading a really interesting book called ‘Is That All There Is?’ by Julia Neuberger who is a female Jewish Rabbi. She talks about Facebook and what the term ‘friends’ means. I always find it fascinating how many people seem to have so many ‘friends’ and yet they seem inherently lonely. Are we deluding ourselves that we have a support group because we are all connected online? What happens when we actually need people to give of their time and to be there to do things for us – things that take time and can’t be done in a few minutes on Facebook, Twitter, MSN and the rest….

Count how many friends you really do have – they always say if you can count them on one hand you are rich in friendship. If you have more than 5 really true friends then know you are lucky and remember to make time for them as true friendship is pretty special.

Now go and enjoy Bruno Mars.

Posted by Hilbre at 7:18 pm

The Power of Perspective

To Make You Think 1 Response »
Oct 242011


I have just got back from a wonderful break in the warmth and beauty of Indonesia. I find holidays are a great time to get perspective on one’s life.

PERSPECTIVE is one of the most powerful aspects of coaching. We all view our lives in a certain way and that perspective is often seen as our reality. What if we can change our perspective, can we then change the way we view our world? The answer is absolutely.

I believe what sets positive people apart from those who see the glass as half empty is they choose a positive energy-enhancing perspective, no matter what card life deals them. While we can’t change the essence of our reality – if we are going through a particularly challenging time in our lives we can’t just make the experience go away, but we can choose the way we see it. We always have a choice in how we view our world and people often forget this.

The coaching process assists in exploring different perspectives on what ever issue or challenge we are facing. From there we can choose the perspective we think will serve us best, and from that place we can look at what resources are available to us that will give us strength and confidence to move forward.

I am back in my reality now and know most of you are in yours as you read this, but remember you can always choose what perspective you want to be in. Life really is all about CHOICE and you don’t have to wait to go on holiday to get perspective, you can do it anywhere, anytime.

Try this simple exercise next time you are in a restaurant – switch places with the person opposite you and notice how different your experience is. The essence of your reality is still the same – you are both eating in the same restaurant, at the same time, at the same table but just by changing your outlook you will see the restaurant differently and notice things you hadn’t seen before.

Posted by Hilbre at 8:18 pm

An Impressive Man

Inspiration 2 Responses »
Oct 072011

The papers are filled with tributes to the Apple visionary, Steve Jobs. I always feel particularly sad when someone has lost their life to cancer – something close to my own heart.

Despite not personally knowing a person, you can still feel connected to them in some way. In this case I am sure most of you reading this blog have never met Steve Jobs but you probably own some sort of Apple device or certainly have friends who are Apple fanatics. I myself am very loyal to the brand and like to have my i-devices close to hand. It was the iPod that completely changed my commuting experience and from there it has just kept getting more impressive. As David Cameron said on Twitter  -‘He really has transformed the way we work and play.’

I wanted to send you all a quote from Steve Jobs that was in today’s Times as I think it is very true from a life coaching perspective. Clients come to coaching because they want more from their lives and want to find out what their reason for being is. While we can’t all be Steve Jobs, we do have a role to play in the world and I think if you take heed of his words below it will help you keep perspective when trying to figure out what you should be doing each day.

“ Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything, all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure, these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”

Posted by Hilbre at 12:45 pm

What is your Brand Personality?

Business 1 Response »
Aug 242011

What comes to mind when you think of the word ‘brand’? For most it is probably Coca-Cola or Apple or maybe even Stuart Baggs – ‘The Brand’ – if you watched the previous series of the Apprentice. Love him or hate him, he certainly made sure you didn’t forget him. But what does having a strong brand presence mean?

I recently went to see Phil Askew who is a Brand Discovery Coach and he is excellent at unlocking who we are as a brand, either professionally, personally or both.

Transform Life Coaching’s brand personality is all about passion for life, knowing your self worth and believing you are capable of change – no matter how challenging it might seem today – tomorrow can look different if we just face up to our fears and be true to ourselves as to what we really want from our life.

In essence I work with busy women to put them back in the driving seat. Women often feel they are either in the passenger seat with their partner driving, or in some cases even in the back seat with very little control of where their life is going. I am passionate about women knowing their self worth and that they are capable of change in all aspects of their lives.

If any of you are thinking about brand discovery or know of anyone who has their own business and wants to improve their brand strength then I can honestly say a morning with Phil will be worth so much more than the fee you pay him. He has such an open and approachable manner and his creative background and knowledge of current technology will definitely take you further down the line than you are today with your brand strength.

I have included a link to a recent interview Phil had regarding his brand coaching.

Posted by Hilbre at 12:13 pm

The Strangers in our Lives

General, To Make You Think 1 Response »
Aug 172011

I am always fascinated with the psychology of commuting and how routine we all are when it comes to going to work.

I drop my husband at the station every morning just before 6am so he can catch that awfully early 6.04am train. We always know we are perfectly on time if the man in the grey jacket (who we have now called ‘The Marker’) is at the bend in the road and if not then we drive that little bit faster (just assume he is always on time). The same man in his biker jacket (always stands right next to the bins reading The Sun) is puffing away – as if it is his last cigarette – before the train pulls in. The final piece in the morning station gathering is an older very posh looking man in his black 4X4 who comes in on 2 wheels at 6.03am and literally runs to the train every day holding his hat – yes he wears a hat (but not just any old hat – a real old fashioned hat). Some days if we are early I wait to see him arrive as it always intrigues me how he never allows that extra minute just so he can walk to the train. I would have thought starting the day like that can’t be the most relaxing – maybe he likes the adrenalin rush just to add a bit of spice to the mundane monotony of the morning commute.

Then as I do my u-turn and leave the station the same lady stares at me from the driver’s side of her car as she has dropped her husband off. I think I might smile at her tomorrow just to see her reaction – she might well smile back…

As I leave the station and make my way home there is always this other man walking very upright and never in a rush. He carries a very old looking briefcase and his other hand is either in his pocket or carrying a newspaper. He seems to have quite a long walk but is never in a rush and is always walking in the same part of the road when I pass him. He strikes me as being very content with life.

As I wind my way back up the lanes the same farmer in his old green Land Rover passes me at the exact same spot and then last week he actually waved at me. I thought this was lovely as although we don’t know each other we are a part of each other’s morning and in a sense it almost seems rude to not acknowledge each other. If any of these people are not in one of my mornings I do notice it and in a strange way feel like something is just not quite right.

Next time you commute see if you can spot those strangers in your life who form part of your daily routine. Maybe you have never noticed them but I can guarantee you, they are there and they might well have noticed you. This might just offer some light relief to the otherwise rather depressing news that seems to have become the norm of our papers.

Posted by Hilbre at 6:43 am
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