Fifty Shades of Grey

General, To Make You Think 1 Response »
Jul 192012

When you are feeling grey – go Fifty Shades greyer…

Why is it that a book about S&M and bondage is having women all over the world literally squirming in their seats as they excitedly hang on every word about what Christian Grey is doing and going to do next to Anastasia?

What is it saying about society that we as women are all obsessed with reading how a woman can be submissive and totally controlled by a dominant and clearly very disturbed man – does this really turn us on?

I bought this book for my latest holiday which I have to say was the perfect accompaniment to the hot Sicilian sunshine and the Italian passion for love of life. There is no denying that this is a great read and will spice up anyone’s relationship.

However, the other side of the coin is what are younger readers going to do with this information? I was talking to a doctor yesterday who said there is growing concern amongst mothers whose daughters – as young as 15 – are reading Fifty Shades of Grey. Is this how the next generation are going to view sex – that it is all kinks, doms, subs and vanilla is out?

Below is a real life account of a woman who found herself in the situation of being a submissive and the harrowing effect thereof. The reality is we need wisdom and life experience to know the difference between a healthy and an unhealthy sexual relationship and what our boundaries are.

http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/article-2174824/Fifty-Shades-Of-Grey-Real-life-Anastasia-Steele-warns-dangers-abusive-relationship.html

When it comes to coaching women I find the essence of all issues stems from how they value themselves. How then can women have good self-esteem and self worth when they allow themselves to be in situations where they are dominated and treated as a sex toy?

If women find themselves voluntarily entering into relationships where they put the man as a dominant figure that can surely only lead to further issues of lack of self worth and diminishing self respect often resulting in depression and self deprecating behaviour such as drugs and alcohol.

When it comes to the Fifty Shades Trilogy – enjoy the fantasy and take out of it what ever you deem to be healthy and fun remembering that there is always a fine line in life…

Posted by Hilbre at 11:43 am

Tantalising Tuesday

Changing Behaviour, To Make You Think 4 Responses »
Jul 032012

How many of you woke up today excited because it is Tuesday?

While there might well be something exciting happening for you today  – I am talking Tuesdays in general. It is an almost forgotten day of the week as it is isn’t the beginning, middle or the end.

Thursdays are great because they are going out nights as you only have to get through Friday, but what do we do with a Tuesday – apart from hoping it passes quickly and then we can say we are half way through the week and that much closer to the much loved week-end?

A lot of coaching is about re-framing how we see and feel about things. I tried this little exercise last week of reframing the way I think about the days of the week. Rather than just seeing them as days of the week I gave them themes. This meant that an arbitrary day like Tuesday became a tantalising, tasty and exotic day.

I decided I needed a word that excited me and triggered my senses. I spent the day really focusing on my five senses and it made such a difference. A normal day became a really interesting one with many things I previously didn’t notice as, like a lot of people, I was so focused on just getting to the end of the day and then I would be half way through the week.

So why not give it a try and make Tuesdays your sensory day – starting with today. Of course if you happen to read this on any other day then that is not to day that day can’t be your sensory day.

  • When someone is talking to you today – listen that much more intently to what they are saying – really hear them.
  • As you eat your lunch – take time to really taste the food with more intensity than you normally would.
  • What ever you touch today – really feel it.
  • What ever you look at today – really see it. Try looking at it from a different angle to what you would normally.
  • If you see any roses today – make sure you stop and smell them.
  • Lastly – what ever you say today – say it with conscious intent and really mean it.

Today is all about connecting with your senses and making every Tuesday a tantalising sensory day and no longer just that poor day wedged between Monday and Wednesday.

 

 

Posted by Hilbre at 9:02 am