The Commuter's Victory

General, Out and About 1 Response »
Jul 262011

I am not a huge fan of commuting (as seems to be the general view after reading an article on what makes people happy – a short commute is a big one). However, I had quite a long way to go on the tube today so I decided to have a change in commuting strategy. Instead of burying my head in my iPhone or iPad (such is the thing to do on a commute – or sleep), I challenged myself to just simply sit and watch the goings on around me. I do find this a real challenge as I feel I should be doing something with the time. Eastern philosophy will tell you that to simply sit is one of the hardest things to do.

So there I was just sitting and watching (have to admit I did feel a little self conscious that I wasn’t focusing on a gadget like my fellow commuters). I found it fascinating though how many people get on to the tube and scan the carriage (with darting little eyes) to spot an empty seat. When they see one, they move with such alacrity – some almost run! Once the seat has been seized they either look proudly around as if to say ‘I won..’ or they don’t dare look up in case they bulldozed an old person or a pregnant woman who really could have benefitted from sitting down.

Although we are often tired when we are commuting – and a seat is a welcome relief to standing – we should remember that we spend far too much of our lives sitting as it is.

Next time you get onto a train see if you are one of the seat dashers or whether you casually hang near the door. If you are already in a seat (which I am sure you moved to in a civilized manner) watch how crazy people go to get a seat…it is quite amusing really.

Happy people watching (and standing)

Posted by Hilbre at 6:32 pm

Conversation Killer

General 3 Responses »
Jul 192011

I was recently at a social event where a woman asked me how many children I had. She just assumed that I had children. When I told her I didn’t have any she looked very awkward and quickly went off to talk to someone else who I can only assume had children. (It isn’t just women I might add, my husband says he gets the same reaction from other men when they ask him about children).

I thought it was very interesting, as she clearly felt uncomfortable after finding out that I wasn’t a mother. For me, women are made up of so many facets, motherhood being one aspect of us, so why do so many mothers find it uncomfortable to relate to women who have not had children? After all, we were all childless at one point.

There is often the assumption that to be child free is a negative situation and that all non-mothers secretly yearn to be mothers. While this may well be true for a lot of women who were not able to fall pregnant, there is a vast majority out there who have actively chosen to remain child free.

Research has shown that birth trends in the developed world have changed considerably since the 1990’s. Below is a quote from an article which appeared in The Telegraph in June 2009:-

The proportion of those who are without children has almost doubled since the 1990s – and pursuing professional careers is a key factor, suggesting it is now a lifestyle choice.

Single women are five times less likely to have children than married ones, while those cohabiting are almost twice as likely to stay childless, the Office for National Statistics research reveals.

Here is the link to the rest of the article:

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/uknews/5637417/One-in-five-women-stay-childless-because-of-modern-lifestyle.html

Therefore to have children or not to have children shouldn’t be a conversation killer. Next time any of you talk to a woman who hasn’t had children, and you think she is of an age where she clearly should be having children, ask her something else about her life – you might find yourself pleasantly surprised by what she tells you.

Posted by Hilbre at 1:07 pm

Watching Thoughts

Making Life Easier, To Make You Think No Responses »
Jul 142011

I subscribe to Yoga magazine as I find the articles both interesting and practical and often relevant to my coaching sessions. Recently I read an interesting article on meditation myths.  I am trying to incorporate meditation into my life and find it a real challenge to still my thoughts (as do most meditation novices).

It is very frustrating when you feel you can’t control your mind and all these random thoughts keep rushing backwards and forwards for no logical reason. We expend far too much energy on thoughts of the past (which is now history), worrying about the future (which we really have very little control over) and so why do we do it?

I was coaching a client a few weeks ago, who by her own admission, expends too much mental energy worrying about the future. She is not alone as we are all guilty of such practice. I shared with her what I had read in Eckhart Tolle’s book – A New Earth – that we only ever live in the present and that even when we get to the future it is still the present…therefore surely the only thing we ever need to focus on (notice I haven’t used the word ‘worry’) is the present?

So I wanted to share a tip with you that I got from the article on mind mastery meditation to help you stay in the present. Instead of trying to fight your thoughts away and feeling annoyed that there are so many of them; rather just observe them floating by as if they are all on clouds just passing by.

I found this does two things – firstly it takes the pressure off of having to be good at meditation (if you are meditating but you can practice this during your normal day when you become aware of your thoughts or find yourself worrying).

Secondly, it gives us the ability to take a step back and watch our minds, instead of being our minds. When ever we go away on holiday we get perspective on our lives as we have stepped out of our day to day. This little practice will help you to keep perspective and to be more in the present moment.

Happy cloud watching…

Posted by Hilbre at 12:25 pm

Living Life like a JR

Inspiration No Responses »
Jul 082011

Today’s blog is all about seizing the day – something I am passionate about.  The one thing I really enjoy about living in England is how everyone makes the most of the good weather (which is hopefully going to return this week-end).

I thought my Jack Russells were the perfect subjects for this blog, as I never get bored watching their attitude to life.  I believe we can learn a lot from our feisty four legged friends.

Their approach to life is one of constant curiosity for EVERYTHING, they have never ending passion and energy, boldness and bravery – they will never accept defeat or believe anything is bigger than them. They approach every day with the same intensity as if it had never been seen before and was never going to be here again. They are loyal to the dying day and love like there is nothing to lose. In a nutshell nothing gets them down – ever!

I believe we can all do with a little bit of JR attitude. The first thing is to wake up and say ‘thank you’ for your day – it is a gift and you never know when it will be your last. The second thing is to be mindful of your attitude throughout the day and notice when you are slipping into negativity or feeling defeated. Life Coaching is all about creating change which is in two parts, the first being awareness of what you want to change and the second is conscious discipline and action to change what you don’t like about yourself.

Posted by Hilbre at 6:19 pm